Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Life Changes

I have not been here in a long while. I'm sure that no one even looks at this blog anymore. But, whatever, I feel a place to express my thoughts, for what they're worth.

Rusty, my beloved kitty, was gently helped to the Rainbow Bridge the beginning of this month. It broke my heart, but as explained on his blog, he deteriorated so quickly I knew then that there was no bringing him back. He lived be be nearly 20 years old, I never dreamed that he would live that long. But, I didn't take it quite so easily, and it still breaks my heart losing him. And so... we listed our house for sale, the house we've lived in for nearly 32 years. This is also breaking my heart.

But, I keep trying to tell myself, this is not something you're leaving. This is something you're going towards. Going towards my family. My daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughter. That going towards my granddaughter is the important part. She is the light in my life. She is my joy these days when I am losing so much.

Sometimes, I think, if it wasn't for her, I might go down that lost road that my own mother went down when she got old. She is my heart, and I know I want to be closer to her as she gets older. She is my one joy in life these days. I am so grateful for her to be here.